


Anal Destroyer

by ricehat



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Original Trilogy
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, M/M, Not to be taken seriously, crut (crack/smut), theres a reason theres an Uke in Luke
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-29
Updated: 2016-03-29
Packaged: 2018-05-29 19:31:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,213
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6390268
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ricehat/pseuds/ricehat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>i shouldnt be allowed to have a fucking ao3. god will never forgive me.</p><p>edit: added some fanart 29/3/2016</p>
            </blockquote>





	Anal Destroyer

**Author's Note:**

  * For [gracezodiac](https://archiveofourown.org/users/gracezodiac/gifts).



“Han, have you ever had anal?” Luke asked, walking into the cockpit of the Falcon.

 

Han damn near crashed the whole ship, that’s how shocked he was. He quickly switched to autopilot. “Excuse me?”

 

“I said, have you ever had anal…”, Luke mumbled, regretting this decision gravely.

 

“Yeah”, Han simply replied, wondering just what the fuck was Luke up to. “Why do you ask?”

 

“I.. I’m an adult now but I still haven’t.. I mean.. I’ve just wondered what it would feel like to do.. that with another man”, Luke went on and on, getting more flustered by the word. Really regretting this.

 

“So… you wanna do it with me?” Han asked, cutting it to the chase.

 

Luke nodded his head.

 

“If you can’t even say the word ‘yes’ I’m not too sure that you’re ready for this..”, Han said, rubbing his forehead. This kid was trouble.

 

“Yes!” Luke shouted, face red, “I said yes!! I’m ready, Han! I’m already 21.. I really want this.”

 

“And what is this, Luke? Anal sex? Would just _anyone_ do?” Han asked, with toxin in his voice.

 

Luke was taken aback. Was Han _jealous_? “NO! Of course not! Han I want you.. I’ve always wanted you”, he said, trying to keep eye contact with the pilot.

 

“You want me..”, Han said, sitting back in his chair. This was probably the opportunity of a lifetime. The hottest Jedi in history wanted to have sex with him. **Anal sex**.

 

“Well. Who am I to deny the offering of such a babe…”, Han muttered to himself.

 

“So you’ll do it?? You’ll fuck me?” Luke asked enthusiastically.

 

“I gotta warn you, though. They don’t call me Han ‘Anal Destroyer’ Solo for nothing, kid”, Han smirked.

 

Luke coughed. “Who does?!”

 

“Friends.. back on Corellia.. Uh actually best if we don’t talk about that. Might get you scared”, Han said, while looking out into the distant outer space, looking regretful.

 

“Well, you can tell me some other time”, Luke said, laughing awkwardly.

 

“Yes, where was I? Oh of course. Anal Sex with Luke Skywalker”, Han snapped out of his memoirs and turned to face Luke again.

 

“Yes! Let’s do this!” Luke shouted bouncing off his feet. This was it.

 

“Join me in bed?” Han asked.

 

“Yes!!”

 

And they quickly made their way to Han’s bedroom, his luxurious king size bed with red linens and several gold-lined pillows. “Wow.. looking at this you’d almost think you were loaded”, Luke laughed, trying to lighten the mood.

 

“I own more than I let on…”, Han grumbled, sitting down on the bed and patting it, indicating that Luke come join him.

 

Luke sat down. “So.. what next?” he asked, blushing.

“We kiss”, Han said, and cupped Luke’s cheek, leaning close to him, but lingered a few inches from him, waiting for permission. He didn’t need to, though, because Luke leaned right back and their lips touched. It felt like fireworks were going off in the background, and Han let his eyes close shut for just a second. “Then.. clothes”, he whispered and started unbuttoning Luke’s shirt. Luke gasped softly but started immediately working on Han’s clothes too.

 

In a few short moments they were only wearing their underwear and Luke had a hard-on. “Someone’s excited”, Han teased and kissed him on the lips.

 

“Please, Han”, Luke moaned, holding onto Han’s shoulders. “Touch me.”

 

“We gotta get the lube first!” Han suddenly remembered. He didn’t want the **Incident** to repeat. History repeats itself, as they say.

 

“O-okay!” Luke said, excitement layered in his voice.

 

Han retrieved a Mega Jumbo Bottle of All-Species Friendly Strawberry-scented Ultra-Strong Lube. (MJBoASFSsUSL).

 

“Are you ready baby?” Han asked while taking Luke’s underwear off and tossing it to who knows where.

 

“Oh I’m ready”, Luke said breathily.

 

“Here we go then..” Han said while delving into Luke’s general crotch area. He pressed a well-lubed finger into Luke’s ass and the Jedi gasped and arched off the bed.

 

It felt like fireworks were going off inside his ass, but in a good way. “Mmmmore”, he demanded. His breathing was uneven and he was gasping for breath.

 

“Breathe, Luke, breathe”, Han soothed, rubbing Luke’s stomach gently with his free hand. “Just breathe.”

 

Luke took in slow breaths while Han added another finger (only after applying more MJBoASFSsUSL). After getting 3 fingers inside Luke Han stepped back and admired the view for a while. Luke, damp from sweat, sprawled on his side, legs tightly pressed together and bent towards his stomach, looked absolutely amazing.

 

Han grunted, freeing his massive erection from his space-boxers. “You sure you can take my 10 inch?”

 

Luke gulped. “‘s that why they call you Anal Destroyer?” he asked with wide eyes.

 

“It has something to do with it… but… size alone doesn’t ensure destruction. To avoid that is why it’s important to stretch you out before we do anything. Are you sure you’re ready?” Han asked.

 

“Yes! Han, I’m a Jedi! I had my hand cut off! I can handle a little pain in the ass..”, Luke said, determined to see this through.

 

“Ok. Here we go. Oh Boy”, Han said, and took out the MJBoASFSsUSL and applied it to his cock, probably way more than what was necessary. Han moaned as his cock made first contact with Luke’s ass. “Fuck”, he groaned. “You feel so good, Luke.”

 

Luke couldn’t get a word out of his mouth at first. It kind of felt like a log was being shoved up his ass. But it felt.. good. Or it was starting to feel good. “Han..!” Luke moaned.

 

Han was slowly sinking into Luke’s ass, deeper and deeper. He was maybe 5 inches in when he first hit Luke’s prostate. “Aahhh!” Luke moaned, gripping at Han for support. “Again, again please.”

 

And Han obliged, thrusting shallowly into his newfound friend-turned-lover, hitting his prostate nearly every thrust.

 

Finally, after what felt like an eternity of fucking, Han was able to get his entire length inside Luke, and orgasm hit them both, hard. Fireworks were everywhere again, Han could even see them. Han collapsed onto the bed, rolling to lay beside Luke. He draped his arms around Luke’s shoulders pulling him close.

 

They both panted and lay there in silence.

 

\-----

 

“Han.. about that Anal Destroyer thing.. what was it really all about?” Luke asked several minutes later, still laying on the bed.

 

“It’s not a pretty story..”, Han grimaced.

 

“I need to hear it”, Luke pleaded, giving him the puppydog eyes.

 

“Alright… Back when I was younger, only 19 years old, I met this guy. He was a different species but we hit off really well, even though it was pretty hard to understand his speech. Eventually, in the span of 2 faithful months.. we fell in love. It was time to take things to the bedroom. And we had anal sex, without proper preparations. And he…”, Han stopped to wipe a tear, “he died of complications, right there on my bed. Internal bleeding and everything. It was terrible. Ever since then I’ve been an advocator for MJBoASFSsUSL.. it could’ve saved him, Luke. It could’ve saved him.”

 

“Wow.. Han.. I’m so sorry! I had no idea.. That must have been so hard on you.. What was his name?” Luke asked, his eyes watering.

  
“Jar Jar Binks.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> im sorry for being born


End file.
